Happiest Days

So I hear a lot in people's reminiscing or on movies or in books or wherever there has ever been a girl in love with a boy that the wedding day was the happiest day of their life. And they even have pictures to prove it! Now people keep informing me that I am a newlywed and I should enjoy it while I can. While it is still new.

Maybe I have just been talking to weirdos or maybe I am the weirdo, but I don't really buy all that. I guess I am technically a newlywed being as we are closing in on only five months, but it doesn't really feel like it. It hasn't ever really felt like it. Does everyone feel that way or is it just because David and I were so intensely a part of each others crazy/bad sides that I feel like I have been with him forever. Not in a bored sort of way, just in a comfortable sort of way, an easy way.

Come to think of it, I have always felt incredibly easy around David (admittedly not when I was trying to avoid him in March of 2009, but a girl has to take some time to get a hold of herself). From the very beginning when he was one of two guys that I actually knew in the ward. On his first hometeaching visit to number 202, I felt like I could be comfortable with him. Scott as well, but with Scott, I could sense the effort we were both putting into it to make small talk and get to know each other. David was probably doing his fair share of work, but I didn't feel like I was. I honestly wanted to be around him, get to know him, sit quietly with him. Just comfortable. From day one.

And we are so well acquainted with one another's demons that while we may not be sure of what brand of toothpaste the other prefers (turns out we are both okay with Fresak-Ra (it's from Mexico (honeymoon toothpaste (we both forgot some))) we know each other. I honestly feel like we have been married forever.

Which in a weird God-eternity time-not line but...thing I guess we have. That sentence made sense when I first started it, but then my brain lost it. The point is, I truly feel like I have been with David forever. That he has always been with me.

That might explain why I don't understand the wedding day as the happiest day of our life thing. It was certainly the most important and anticipated day of my life thus far, but there was such a calm feeling - no, more than calm, just totally relaxed - to the day, that we were able to just enjoy it. Lost the temple recommend? We'll take care of it. Another bride running behind schedule, taking up the dressing room with my wedding dress in it? I'll wear what I have on; don't rush the poor girl. It's her wedding day. I honestly remember feeling like it was probably more crucial for her for things to go right and or it to be her happiest day than for me. I had what I needed.

It was certainly a funny day. Like I said, there were some setbacks, recommend, dressing room, David lost track of me inside the temple for about ten minutes, I hid his wedding ring in my shoe so that I didn't have to walk into the room holding it so that he didn't see that it was the One ring until I put it on his finger. The car in front of the temple making Josh mad. I forgot my shoelaces and had to wrestle my shoes with a sweet elderly lady, armed with safety pins. I stuffed myself with sushi. I hid my credit card in my bra and you can see it in some pictures at the reception. Notice omst of the funny things are my mishaps. David is much more prepared than I am.

It was a wonderful day, but I look back on it and, not to understate it's significance to me (because I cannot and won't try to express that hear) and it was just a day in the life of Kate and David. I had felt married to him for so long, this just made it official.

We have had such happy days after that too! Trying to not step on crabs while walking on a section of the white sand beaches of Mexico that was just riddled with little crab homes, watching a crazy white Mexican get pretty drunk and high[er]. Eating Papa John's on our new apartment floor after being in the car for 18 hours. Giggling during church, making a fort in the living room to watch cartoons. Not to mention all the unmentionable fun time.

I have never felt as happy and as safe as I feel when he just rests his hand on my back then falls asleep.

I don't mean this to be a sappy post (but since it is bear in mind the husband in question has been out of town all weekend), I was just thinking about it. About being happy. Happier. Happiest. How I could never have imagined a happiness so true a year and a half ago. I couldn't imagine happiness. I think that makes this all the more bright. It is almost like at least four day out of every seven every week are the happiest days of my life because I have a wonderful husband, job, and school situation, but at the very foundation it's because I am happy with myself.

Yeah, that's the point my mind has been trying to get at with this rambling diaryesque post. I was always happy with David, as a person and as my choice for lifetime and eternal companion, so every day with him was just wonderful, among the happiest of my life. But being happy with myself, loving myself, that is still a relatively new relationship (being just over a year now) and is more shocking to me than my life with David, who, like I already said, was the only one from the beginning.

I think I lost my point again. That's what happens when one rambles. But I guess the take home message would be that I love myself like I love my husband and everyday we are happier than sensible people have any right to be.