Procrastinating

I am hungry.

I am supposed to be doing my Sociology assignment. Well, at least the lesson. I don't know that I have had any actual assignments yet. I am still waiting for some of the course material that will hopefully shed a little more light on the issue.

Goodness. I have been absolutely worthless today. I had a very weird, unsettling, and highly emotionally charged dream last night and it really has effected my day which I just think is ridiculous. But what can I do? I have tried several times to reassert myself, but all attempts just roll off my mind as I continue to be unsettled. Nothing bad has happened all day. Probably nothing will. But I can't shake the feeling.

This just leaves me amazed that the power that one's thoughts have over one's body and state of mind. These weren't even conscious thoughts that I worked hard to put into my mind. They were just there in strange pictures and a distorted story.

I also discovered as I was getting dress after my shower that I forgot to take my medicine last night. My birth control packet has the days of the week that correspond with each pill on it which usually doesn't make a huge difference to me because I just take it every night when I turn the lamp off to go to bed. Along with my birth control, I take my orange happy pill, and time without it, even just the thirty-some odd hours I just went without it has a staggering effect on my body. I can feel twitches and shifts under my scalp and my eyes have difficulty focusing.

With this in mind, and remembering the withdrawals I went through as I was getting off the Geodon in May, I cannot understand how people convince themselves that drugs are a good idea. Why one earth would you put something into your body that you are not certain you will be able to get again, and I that you know for sure is detrimental to your body. That thing that you live in all the time. That lets you see and experience the world around you. Why?

Anyway. I think I will try to reassert myself again to my homework and wait just a little little for David to come home so that I can eat. Chipotle here we come.

Eventually.