1. Couples. Hugging and kissing, couples are a problem everywhere you go in Provo, UT, and the gym is no safe haven. Despite the sweat and nasty musk of working bodies, couples continue their public displays if affection. The gym is no place for that! Take that crap to a chick flick or BED, Bath, and Beyond.
2. Skinny people. Now I am not just talking about thin people, or people you look at and think, "Hey, that person used to be a tub of lard and now look at 'em! Encouragement!" No, I am talking about the impossibly thin people who look like victims of transanal evisceration because there is no way an entire large intestine can fit in their body. I know, it's gross. Maybe I am alone in this, but I want to see real fatties at the gym. People who, even though their genetics or bad choices left them with a crappy hand, are working hard to trim up.
3. Girlie music. Come on. It's a gym. If a non-goth, fourteen year old girl likes it, it does not belong in a gym environment.
4. Mustaches. Though really, they aren't acceptable anywhere. I just saw an unusually large number of mustaches at the gym this morning. It was awful. Beards, however and as always, are more than acceptable. They are welcome.
5. People who match. No, not only match, but wear make-up and have their hair carefully combed back and put up. Girls who come to the gym like this are irritating, guys that do are more than a little disconcerting. What's worse is when it is a toothpick girl that's all dressed up. Grr.
6. Men in short shorts. Unless it is an old video of basketball from the seventies or Reno 911, short shorts on men is always a mistake. In the gym, where there is a lot of movement and weird body positioning on machines, it's downright dangerous!
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